Independence
This word is important to the development and growth of teens and tweens as they move closer to becoming independent adults. It’s likely that they’re feeling conflicted between being an independent young adult and still needing, although reluctant to admit it, to rely on others. They may be feeling powerless and may use anger to push away the people they need the most, in order to gain power over a difficult or frustrating circumstance.
As parents, realize that the more energy you spend arguing with them, the stronger their resistance will grow. Change the focus. Take a step back and ask your teens what they think about the particular situation. They may have good thoughts and ideas to share with you. After they do, avoid the impulse to correct or argue. Instead, be encouraging and urge them to take action. This will give them the independence they crave and may motivate them to move ahead.
If your teens want to do well but are strongly resisting asking for help, reassure them that doing so is a sign of maturity and self-advocacy, an important skill they need to learn before setting off into the world on their own. They should practice this skill while still at home, in a warm and nurturing environment and you, as their parents, need to give them the space to do so.
This can be a trying time for both you and your teens, The best thing to do as a parent is to help boost their confidence, show respect, support their ideas, point them in the direction of appropriate community resources, and be there when they reach out to you…and even when they don't.
