If your child is normally shy or introverted in “normal” classroom situations, he may be struggling with the additional challenges of remote learning for a number of reasons. He may be concerned about what the home space looks like or how he appears on camera. He may be dealing with performance anxiety, made more difficult by the lack of nonverbal communication such as supportive nods and smiles which make in-class learning a bit more comfortable. He may feel uneasy having a class full of students looking at him. There might be difficulties with inconsistent internet access or struggles with the video software, leading to stress about participation or missing out.
So what can a parent do to help?
1 – While you’re both in a comfortable situation, such as riding in the car, playing together, or doing some other focused activity, talk to him about what you’ve noticed. Be calm, be curious, but don’t judge. Listen to what he has to say and let him know it’s ok. It is, after all, quite natural to feel uneasy in this totally new and awkward situation, so validate those feelings. Reassure him that everyone is feeling off-kilter in this new learning environment – including the teachers, his classmates, and even parents. Everyone is trying to figure our how to best make this new situation work, together.
2 – With your child create a comfortable and quiet space, Include a water bottle, a lap blanket, favorite photo, or anything else that brings comfort. Together, check out the background so he can get a better idea of what his classmates will be seeing in his space.
3 – Make sure your child is prepared for class and that all supplies and books are readily available and within reach before the class begins.
4 – Set aside some time for him to video chat with friends or family. This more relaxing practice, outside of the remote classroom setting, will likely help him get used to interacting on-line, seeing himself and his surroundings on the screen, and acclimating to the inevitable video quirks that interfere with the audio and video connections.
5 – Encourage him to take small steps, because a daily reach outside of his comfort zone will eventually add up to a big leap when it comes to conquering his anxiety. Begin with the goal of speaking up in class, just once a day, whether it’s to pose a question or make a comment.
6 – Give him feedback and remain positive and hopeful about the progress he’s making. If it’s early on and you’re not seeing progress yet, focus on the attempts that he’s making towards that end. Steer away from negative criticism and be sure to let him know that you’re proud of him for continuing to work at it.
7 – This is a great time to teach anxiety relieving tools such as calming breathing techniques, focusing on muscle relaxation, empowering mantras, and comforting visualizations. These life lessons can be used now as well as in the future.
8 - Talk to his teacher about the difficulties he is facing with on-line classes. If possible, let him speak with his teacher directly, outside of classroom hours, so that they can do a little situational problem solving and he can receive a needed pep talk. Just to know that his teacher is aware of his discomfort and is rooting for him to succeed, will likely make him feel supported.
Remote learning is not ideal, we know this, and for some students, extra creativity and understanding may be needed. Be patient. Be supportive. Give everyone time to assess and adjust while navigating this new distance learning. Most of all, be your child’s cheerleader, supporter, and soft place to land when he needs it. He’ll be all the better for it.
