High school students are facing tougher academic schedules and more responsibilities than they did in middle school, and those demands increase each new year until graduation. As a parent, it is important to remind your child of the support that he has both at home and within the school administration. Encourage him to self-advocate and speak up if he needs something or if he is in a situation where intervention may be needed.
Your child may also be experiencing some level of fear that he’ll fail, whether it’s academically, athletically, artistically, or socially. This is especially pronounced in students who’ve struggled in school previously and may have a history of setbacks.
The social pressures parents most likely experienced in high school are far different than those today's teenagers face. Because of social media, they may be feeling pressure to fit in, to be popular, and to have close friends. Social media doesn’t help when it comes to pointing out differences among classmates' social lives. Whether real or not, it’s out there for all to see, and your teen may feel like he’s missing out. It's important to encourage your teen’s independence, talk to him and help him to make good choices when it comes to new and possibly risky situations. Also, help him to understand that what he sees on a friend’s Facebook, Instagram, or other platform, does not represent the full or true story. Those classmates are most likely posting the "good stuff" exaggerated at that, and that’s not reality. You can also dive into the wealth of articles online regarding dating hurdles and how to navigate high school cliques. If you find something especially helpful, share the link with your teen.
Your child most likely has concerns about his future also. There are college decisions, career path questions and expectations, along with the stress of facing the transition into life after high school. It is important that you talk to your teen about the different paths he can take after graduation and about career options. Also, encourage him to meet with his guidance counselor to discuss his options. Reassure him that having questions, feeling unsure, and thinking about his future is completely normal. There are many ways to thrive in this life. Help him to explore those avenues.
Your child may also have concerns about college. Just thinking about the options, the process of the college search, and the transition to a life away from home is stressful for most students. As a parent, it is important to research and visit a variety of schools and talk about how they differ. Seek guidance from a tutor to prepare for the college entrance exams, and if needed, look into college testing accommodations that may be available. Give your teen an all-important sense of control by encouraging him to take the lead in these explorations and decisions. Be his soft place to land if and when anxieties rear up, and reassure him that the worry he is feeling is not only completely normal but also common among their peers.
A few more suggestions for parents:
Keep the conversation going. Ask your teen if you are pushing too hard, and really listen to his response. Keep the line of communication open so he feels assured that he can turn to you as needed.
Again, encourage him to take the lead whenever possible. Yes, he'll need guidance from you, but empower him and show him that you trust his decision making skills. Let him choose activities for himself, let him explore college and career options that you might not have considered. Stepping back during this process can help to buffer anxiety and foster self-confidence.
Finally, work to counterbalance this stressful time and competitive culture by encouraging play. Good, unstructured play, following passions, and healthy downtime will go a long way towards helping your teen to de-stress. It’s good too, to take advantage of this opportunity to organize some family time. Make some moments, make some memories. Those times are valuable and will carry him a long way.
