It is inevitable that at some point you will fail a test, fail at a task, or get negative feedback on a project. It happens to everyone. How we deal with that failure though, that’s where people differ. It’s very possible to reframe the failure and turn the experience into a valuable learning experience that may well change the way you think about yourself and put you on a path towards success.
A study out of Stanford University suggests that we start by asking ourselves these questions:
How can we learn from failure?
How do I react when I experience failure?
How do I feel when I do poorly on an assessment?
Do I make a judgement about my ability based on a result?
Is the obstacle, setback, or failure proof that I don’t have the ability to succeed?
Basically, it seems that there are two reactions at play. Some people seem to have a fixed mindset, where a person links a failure to their worth as a person and a telltale and decisive measure of their ability. This can lead to increased anxiety and a tendency to avoid challenges, schoolwork, and even the desire to strive in certain situations in life. It’s the decision to resign ourselves to the idea that we can’t meet a challenge, we can’t improve.
But then there’s the growth mindset, which is much more constructive. It’s a way of thinking that our ability is not set. We can develop, we can grow and learn new skills, and that we can face setbacks and come away having learned something by the experience, rather than feeling like failure is who we are, and how it’s going to be.
In order to reframe our thinking when faced with a bad result, we must ask ourselves:
Can I react to failure in a more constructive way?
How can I reframe failure so that it enhances my learning?
What is this teaching me?
Where should I go next? Should I talk to the teacher/Professor or an advisor about how I can learn this better?
Can I make a commitment to improve my efforts and develop more efficient study habits?
What did I do well? What went right?
What kind of information do I now have about how I can change my practices to learn new things?
Spend some time thinking about how they can modify their reaction to failure, and how they can use it as motivation to learn, grow and achieve everything they are capable of. Failure is an opportunity for growth and not something that you should associate with shame. Failure can be a jumping off point that leads you to try new things, try new strategies, to take risks, and importantly, to learn something about yourself.
